They say it takes a year to really start getting over someone. You've gotta go thru every holiday, birthday and memorable dates without that person for the first time. Scott used to spoil me rotten on my birthday and valentines day, I think he was trying to make up for the life we had. People say to me you couldn't live like that and it was extremely hard but what people don't understand was i still saw Scott. He was drunk but he was still the man I loved, and I truly loved him with all my heart. I still do. We'd get lost in each other, laugh until we cried. His favourite colour was orange, his favourite film was Apollo 13. He bought me teddy bears all the time but he loved them more than I did, he'd take anything apart then put it back together again cause he wanted to see how it worked. His favourite dinner was sausage casserole which he'd make me make all the time!
He was completely lost and a prisoner to his addiction but I hope I made it a tiny bit easier by being there for him. I regret so much that I didn't get to tell him how much I loved him and that I would have come back to him after this trip.
That I wanted to spend my life with him, I was taking this trip to get myself back together. I honestly believed in him that'd he'd beat it. What do you do and how do you get over such a great loss like this? Am I destined to feel like this forevermore? Life is one heck of a ride.
No comments:
Post a Comment