Rodeo

I spent Christmas on the beach, my birthday on a farm and now I've spent Easter at a rodeo. Completely different to how I'd celebrate these occasions back home.
The new jobs going good, I never appreciated the work that goes into these shows before its full on. The family I work for Mick and Jackie have 2 food vans, 2 snow cone stands, a coffee stand and 3 rides. So quite a big operation. The areas they work in are agricultural shows and rodeos and for instance the Saturday morning markets. Every event or market you need to set up the stall and all the merchandise, do your trading then pack it all down when you're done. It's bloody hard work but I'm enjoying it. Friday night was an experience because it was my first rodeo. It was so amusing at first cause they actually have real cowboys. They all wear jeans, a shirt, boots, a hat and an on show big flashy belt. They have events like horseback racing, bareback, bronking bulls and horses and ones where you race someone to catch a cow with a lasso and tie it up.
My job on the showgrounds is on the snowcone stand. A snowcone is a cup of crushed ice with cordial poured over it. It's quite funny cos when I was younger I always wanted a mr frosty machine and when I got one it was too hard to crush the ice and I was devastated I couldn't use it and now basically my job is making something very similar. We sell candyfloss and popcorn too so I get the kids high on sugar then send them to their parents!
So I started on Friday preparing the canteen (a snack van) for the rodeo on Friday night. We started at 10am and finished about 10:30pm, Saturday was the street market starting at 7:00am till 4pm cos we had to then pack down and set up for the Sunday market in a new location. Sunday was 7:00am at the market then straight onto the rodeo finishing at 12:30am. A bloody long day that was especially since I went out on Saturday night! So as you can see its long hours and hard work.
I'm now in a town called Toowoomba which was a 5 hour drive from Roma. I was up at 8:30am and we had to pack up the camp and drive here and set up camp in the dark. As you can guess I'm absolutely shattered. It's generations of the family that all own their own rides and stands. So there's a lot of people and everyone's so friendly I've already made new friends and having fun. I've already seen two towns in Australia that I'd otherwise never see and experienced a rodeo so I can really see myself sticking at this job.

Travelling carnival

So I've been applying for every job left, right and centre trying to find someone to take me on and I think I've hit the jackpot. I've got a job working on a food stall for a travelling fair that goes all over Queensland. I only get paid like $400 a week but my food and accommodation is paid for so that's the main thing and I get to travel the state. It's funny because when me, Siobhan and Gemma meet people we always tell them that I work on the waltzers, Gemma works on a hot dog stand and Siobhans a giraffes hairdresser, so I'm actually gonna be doing Gemma's fake job! Not a job I'd take on in a million years if I was back home but when you travel you do thinks you wouldn't expect yourself to do, you suprise your self with choices outwith your character. I leave on Thursday with an 8 hour bus journey inland to a town called Roma. I'm looking forward to seeing parts of the country I'd otherwise miss out. So I've got 2 days left in Brisbane and I'm just gonna sightsee and relax.

Bucket list

This is what I want to and will achieve in my life.

• Be truly happy, be able to look at my life around me and be happy with the choices I've made.
• Make a difference to someone's life that has been in a similar situation to me through addiction. Maybe volunteer with alanon or raise awareness to the other victims of addiction.
• Volunteer in an environment where people need and will benefit from my help.
• Learn a language and live in a country where I can properly learn it.
• See the world. I want to travel Europe properly, see Asia, Canada, South America and South Africa.
• Travel Scotland. I've been across the
world but never really appreciated the beauty of home.
• Take a flying lesson. I'd love to be able to fly a plane.
• Skydive again.
• Get over my fear of fish and learn to dive.
• Learn to surf
• Learn to snowboard or ski and do it in somewhere like Switzerland.
• Have a job that allows me to travel.

Not too demanding as of yet and all quite manageable I'd say.

Bris-Vegas.

So I'm now in Brisbane. I've taken to this city a lot more than I did melbourne I think I'm really gonna like it here. I'm staying in a really good hostel that I'd call more of a resort. It's still got the dorm rooms and a shared kitchen/bathrooms but its got loads of deck areas and sunbathing space, a swimming pool and a movie theatre. It's a place more built for you to be outside than in other places I've stayed, because Queensland is warm all year round. It's got a viewing platform that you can see right over the city. During he day it's just big buildings with the river splitting the city in half and by night it's bright lights making it look like Vegas. Hence the nickname Bris-Vegas.
Spent the whole day yesterday lying by the pool topping up my tan it was great and so relaxing. Was nice to be able to lie by water and not have someone throw me in for once! Won't be the case tomorrow when I go and meet a friend from Melbourne at the lagoon cause he's notorious for doing it! Met up with him last night and even though It'd only been a week and a half since I seen him in the travelling world that's along time. When you see people everyday and they become your family when you leave it's like leaving home all over again. Had my first run in with the aboriginals last night. If always been told they hated British people and all they did was get drunk and start fights but I dismissed this claim as I wouldn't ever want to judge a whole race on one comment. As we were sitting outside smoking one came up and asked for a cigarette, we said no sorry an he started shouting and swearing calling me a redneck bitch (I laughed at this comment! We don't have rednecks in Scotland) when a friend of a friend jumped to my defence and made him apologise. The bouncers calling the police straight away. Doesn't seem like a big incident but it's the first run in I've had in Australia as its a very safe country in general. I'd rather see a huntsman spider than deal with the abo's again!

I've been thinking about my future lately and how I wanna live my life, I've all these ideas in my head of things I wanna achieve and do. It's part of the grieving process I think is a positive step. I'm planning my life on my own as sad as it seems I don't ever want a romantic relationship in my life again.
I'm gonna write my bucket list.

Queensland I'm a coming!

I'm fleeing Melbourne on Wednesday. Winters coming really quickly and it's actually cold down this end of Oz, past 3 days it's been wet and windy and it's the first time I've genuinely been cold for ages. I've given this city a chance and I'm not feeling it. They say you either love Sydney or Melbourne, not both. My heart lies in Sydney. Don't get me wrong I've had an amazing time here and made some fantastic friends that'll ill miss when I'm gone but I'm so excited for Brisbane . Queensland is Fraser Island, Whitsundays, the Great Barrier Reef and surfers paradise. Some of the most amazing places in Oz.
So my flights booked, hostel booked ( it has a pool!) and my work has transferred me up so I'm all sorted, just gotta have my leaving night tomorrow with the boys where ill get drunk and cry!

Grand Prix

So I'm just back from the Grand Prix. I only went for Scott. It's one of the many things ill do in his legacy. Places he wanted to go and things he wanted to do. I've got my ticket and I'm saving it to put on his grave. It's so wrong that I need to do that, that he's not here with me that we both could have went together. He would have loved it. He'd be glued to the tv at the start of every season and I'd complain of the noise it made all the way through. It was amazing though. The cars went so fast that if you blinked you'd miss them going past. The noise was incredible you couldn't hear anything but that and you could feel it in your chest. I've went to the Melbourne Grand Prix something ill never get the chance to do again and i done it for love. Love that will never leave me. Love that drives me towards living each day as if its my last, love that makes me go for every dream I've ever had. Love for my Scotty G.

Gypsy.

Ok so I'm like a gypsy these days. The past 6 nights I've stayed in 4 different hostels and their all on opposite sides of Melbourne. No worries though I move into an apartment in St Kilda tomorrow which is a lovely wee funky beach town. Where I'm going is 10 mins walk to the beach. Perfect! That's what they call living the dream :) There's another heat wave going on right now it should be cooling down for autumn but its just staying hot and I love it!

Love hurts

Let's say someone got a knife and stabbed you in the heart repeatedly. That's the pain I feel daily. I forget for a few hours and then something reminds me and I got that horrendous feeling in my heart. I feel first guilt because I left him so I have no right to feel sad. Then I feel like I wanna break down and cry because the realisation hits me that I'm not gonna have the life we talked about and he promised me. The life I was meant to have with my Scotty G. I feel like a broken record now. Surely that people are moving on and I'm not. But how do I do it? How do you move on from something like this? I don't think I can. I know everyone's saying ill be fine and ill move on and meet someone. I challenge these people like me to experience a break up and then lose that person forever and then talk with me, we'll see how it is. I have a playlist I made up called Scotty G and I just listen to it all the time. It's songs we both loved. Silly ones and more serious ones. Ill never listen to an Elton John song again without him in mind. The main one that's actually playing right now the verve 'lucky man' are wedding song. The ones he'd change to 'all my love is in my wozza' this was our song. I miss my Scotty G more than I can ever admit because the pain runs that deep and it's the worst pain I've ever felt

Blondie

Ain't it funny that my new friends didn't recognise me in a photo from home cause I've got red hair and very pale skin. Whereas now I'm tanned and almost blonde. Never thought that'd be me but I want the Aussie beach babe look!
I'm having a lot of fun in Melbourne with my Melby family, I'm having a great time being one of the lads. I don't ever need to make an effort appearance wise and they do look after me. Saturday night was welsh Paul's birthday so we went to a club and danced all night. On the way home the boys were running through the park topless trying to catch possums. I wouldn't get that if I was with the girls. I am so excited for Von coming down though for some best mate bonding :)

I'm not working for the funeral place no more I'm just doing odd jobs round the city which is good cause it makes me see the whole thing. Was working at a festival called soundwave last week in the catering tent. Helping prepare food for Metallica and blink 182. I made a fruit salad for Metallica!
Can you believe I have a cold? It's not been below 30c all week and I've managed to catch a cold. I feel awful I forgot what it felt like :( ach well ill get through it.