Feeling really down today. Could feel myself wanting to break down in the zucchini field at work today but I managed to hold it together. Now back at the hostel I've just spent the whole afternoon on my own, I've not broken down yet but I think that's just the lack of privacy. I don't want anyone to know why I'm upset.
Can't even read Cosmo because it's all about relationships and being in love, the usual. Plus this issue is a wedding special and it hurts to even look at it knowing I'll never marry who I want. It's bad times when you can't even read a magazine without getting upset. I'm also so bored in Tatura that it's making it worse. I've nothing to keep me occupied as I'm stuck in this wee one street town. I go to work and i'm left with my thoughts all day cause I'm in a field basically working on my own picking vegetables or weeding. I come back to the hostel and we've nowhere really to go except the pool. It's like being in the big brother house we sleep, eat, socialise and work together. It's a lovely bunch of people but the bitching is terrible. I'm sick of listening to stupid complaining and talk about work. I wanna head back to the city and get a normal job but I also don't wanna give up on getting my 2nd year visa incase I wanna stay here longer. I hate being so lost and not knowing what to do to help myself.
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