Back to blighty

So I'm home. Been back 4 days and I feel like I've never left. It weird but also nice. Had a very tearful Hollywood style reunion at the airport, my mum, dad and Gemma were there with a banner saying welcome home Caroline. I just walked out arrivals seen them and the banner and burst into tears. Was a long trip home but was made easier by some very kind individuals. I'd booked a hotel room close to the airport just to make it easier in the morning and not a wild last night in Oz which it would have been of I'd got a hostel. I'd basically just booked a room with a single bed in it but when I arrived after a 5 hour bus journey from chinchilla and then a train and another bus to the hotel I was shattered. I got speaking to the owner whilst she was checking me in telling her all about my travels and it was my last night in Oz so she upgraded me to a deluxe room. Same as at the airport I was chatting to the women at check in and she upgraded me to premium economy. Score! 

It's hit me like a ton of bricks coming back and facing upto the reality of Scott being gone. I've went back to before when I wear sunglasses cos it means I can cry in public and no one knows. I just can't believe he's not here anymore and it hurts more than imaginable. I did go an see Willie and Linda last night which I really enjoyed, it was emotional at times but it'll be like that for a while. Now it's really time for me to grieve. I've never really had the chance being away and on my own.