As I right this I have tears streaming down my face and my heart feels like it could explode with the pain. I got up this morning and had a little cry but I had to start work at 8:30am and didn't finish till 10pm so it's been good I've been kept busy all day. Nows the time to let it out. It's one of the boys on the shows birthday today so I've been trying to make a fuss over that to keep me sane.
Scott always hated his birthday so he'd most likely be annoyed that I'm dwelling on it. I'd be soooo excited for him and he'd tell me to fuck off he wasn't interested! I keep going round and round in my mind if I could speak to him what I'd say and really all I want is to say I love you please tell me you know that.
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